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Looking back is dangerous. You cannot move forward very efficiently if you are constantly looking behind you. There is certainly an argument for being aware of what is behind you. However, the goal should always involve putting yourself far enough out of harm’s way that your past has very little impact on where you are going.
Divorce Journal – Memory Lane
Some memories are worth having and sharing with others. I recently learned that good memories are an aid used with dementia patients. Sharing positive memories through stories and photographs reversed a period of steep decline for my grandmother when she seemed to be willfully transitioning.
Good memories can also bring on the onset of depression. Consider someone that has lost a valuable career or position in society due to a mistake in judgement. The times may have been the best ever experienced. Any reminder of that season compared against less fruitful and current circumstances could have detrimental results.
Walks down memory lane will be difficult to avoid. The hope is that those memories fuel you toward a better future, not trap you in a perpetual mental spin of “what ifs.” These are accompanied by the rhetorical “what went wrongs” and “if I had it to do over agains.” If you are not strong enough to use the memories for good, then move on. And live free.
To some, loving oneself is so easy. To others, it is pretty hard. It’s easy because, I mean, come on. It’s you, right ? You’re awesome, you’re great. How could you not love YOU ? On the other hand, you made that mistake the other day, or you didn’t grow up with positive reinforcement from the people who claimed to love you. You aren’t sure what love is so how could you possibly know how to give the unknown to yourself ? I get it. All of it.
The only thing that remains consistently true, though, is that love has got to begin with you. It just has to. This isn’t to say that someone won’t come into your life and love you like you’ve never been loved before. That is always a possibility. But this is to say that life is only as full as you are loving…towards yourself.
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When you don’t have beauty in your life, you start looking for it, and if you don’t find it, you start inventing it. -George Esquivel