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Divorce Journal – No Need To Respond

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The purpose of journaling is to capture thoughts, feelings, dreams, and events.  Journal entries will serve as a measure of how far you have come, or offer an explanation to you or someone else of what was occuring in your life at a particular point.

The experience of journaling seemed to be a worthy endeavor, especially if it could be used as a tool to measure progress.  But, what if there was no progress, or worse ground was loss?  It is hard to look back over your life and consider the mistakes that were made and the damage that was caused as a consequence.

Yet, even in our failures there are lessons to be learned.  It might be even more beneficial to review what did not work.  Who could not benefit from knowing the outcome of a wrong path?

Reviewing this entry (Divorce Journal – No Need To Respond) was difficult for me.  It was a reminder of a period where I was being indecisive.  I experienced a long pause – a time of mental paralysis.  In this video entry I could hear how that period had caused me and my wife pain and resulted in frustration.

The process or the lack thereof was unfair to my wife and me.  However, good can be found in any situation if you desire to see it.  The positive note from this period is that I was still considering the impact of divorce to our immediate and extended circles.  The paralysis that I expereinced was due to the strain of balancing my emotional health against those who would also be impacted by my decision.

It is also clear from this entry that after months I had not responded to my wife’s question about the direction our activities were taking the relationship.  Out of frustration or in desparation to save her own sanity she made the choice for us.  We would divorce.

It is my hope for anyone reviewing this entry, that has stalled on making a critical decision, will receive the incentive required to move.  Learn from my mistake.  If you do not make the call, someone else will and it may not be in either of your favor.  Push through the fear of being hurt or hurting someone else.  Weigh all of the options, then make the best decision possible.  Afterwards, no matter the outcome, take the necessary steps to heal and forgive yourself.

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