Before committing to divorce a couple should pursue all methods available to repair their marriage. One of the obvious resources available is martial counseling. I would argue that counseling should be sought prior to and during a marriage. A couple should seek the services of a counselor or relationship coach on a routine basis to prevent a marriage from getting to the point where divorce enters the conversation.
Divorce Journal – On Counseling
My wife and I would encourage other couples and singles to seek counseling / pre-marital counseling, ‘Before You Even Ask’ or ‘Before You Even Answer’ (#BYEA). Unfortunately, we did not take the medicine we prescribed. It is still unclear why we did not pursue counseling before or during our marriage. I am uncertain whether we felt that the answers to our challenges were more readily available to us due to our degree work, training and life experiences. Or, could it be that we did to think it worthwhile to pursue counseling, because relationship was just too far gone.
It would certainly be a difficult task for any professional that was retained to assist our marriage. Primarily, our education, training and skill sets in the science of relationships would allow us to be more critical of another professional’s process for counseling. In addition, I had suggested and/or offered to attend counseling prior to the separation. My wife agreed, but an appointment never seemed to materialize. Could it be a matter of chance that after I declared that I was filing for divorce that my spouse located a counselor that she felt comfortable with?
I believe it is safe to say that we would still support any couple attending counseling; despite, the lack of satisfaction we experienced in our first attempt. It is always helpful to have an independent review of your marriage as a whole, and specifically, how each of you participate in the marriage. It is the equivalent of having a talented editor review your writing – no matter the level of your writing proficiency. You owe it to yourself and your spouse to submit to the process of counseling or relationship coaching.