We give power to whatever dominates our thoughts. It is through our giving in to thoughts that create obsessions. My thoughts were consumed with deep questions about marriage as we approached the day that our divorce would be finalized. Those thoughts seemed to attract answers through a variety of sources. Could ay of this have been a Coincidence?
I was once advised that I can learn more from my failures than I could any success. Facing divorce certainly suggests that I failed. The amount of time invested in dissecting and analyzing every detail about our marriage begin to cause hopelessness. I wondered if I were too broken to ever pursue another relationship, not to mention a marriage.
Somehow all sorts of inspiration for having a sucessful marriages begin to appear. I found a ray of hope during a deep spiral downward and into an even more hardened place. The hope was not in our current marriage. Our time had come and passed away. Yet, I was starting to feel encouraged that I could love, fall in love and be loved, again.
The revelation was the result of a consistent stream of positive testimonies of marriages that worked. And not all of them were first time marriages, some were on there third or later marriage before they finally got it right. However, there were no details on ‘it’ or how ‘it’ made a difference in making their marriage successful.
I remain grateful for my experiences in love and marriage. In this season I am better prepared to move forward in love due to the inspirational stories of successful marriages coupled with the lessons that I have learned through personal failure. My obsessions with knowing more about the decline of a marriage brought to me a deeper understanding about marriage in general. And, I was challenged to correct some flawed belief systems, for example, that I could control every aspect of marriage. What I truly believe is that I was successful in attracting material that would help me become a better man.